DEAR ELLIE: I was recently shocked to learn my husband occasionally does recreational drugs. I knew he'd experimented when younger (as did I), but believed that ended when we married 10 years ago. I was furious at his deception, upset that some of the drugs are fairly hard core. We have young children.

DEAR ELLIE: I'm in my late 40s, in a 13-year relationship that's gone stale. We're little more than dinner companions (zero commitment, communication or future plans).

DEAR ELLIE: I'm in a loving relationship; we're "unofficially engaged," waiting until after college. Everything's fine but our intimate lives. We're both 20, and I understand he's supposedly at his "peak," but I'm being turned down. We're only intimate once or twice monthly.

DEAR ELLIE: My husband insists he'll do the outdoor chores, yet procrastinates endlessly. Our garden is overrun with weeds, the garage is a mess, etc., but he won't let me hire a local teenager, cheap. Otherwise, he's a good father and husband.

DEAR ELLIE: During 18 months dating, she cheated twice, related to her huge fear of feeling abandoned. She was always suspicious of me. She doesn't drink often, but always drinks to excess. She lied, manipulated, yelled and threw things.

DEAR ELLIE: My ex-fiance and I parted on horrid terms -- he left me for one of my best friends. I'm now happily married. A mutual friend is getting married soon, and I badly want to attend. But I cannot be pleasant toward this ex and his wife. I want no drama for the bride and groom. Can I ask a mutual pal to tell my ex and his wife to avoid us during the day?

DEAR ELLIE: I'm in my early 20s and my boyfriend's a couple of years older, a wonderful man with a successful career. We decided to move in together. We see the relationship "going somewhere." I live in a different city from my parents, and I've hidden this from them. They interfere frequently in my choices of men, based on previous bad experiences.

DEAR ELLIE: My man's mother suffered a stroke; he's now her primary caregiver, which I fully support. Despite two years together, I still haven't met his mother or any other family member. She refuses to accept our relationship or even meet me. I'm unsure why.

DEAR ELLIE: My boyfriend of nine years and I are living together and talking about buying a house and the future (kids, marriage, etc.).

DEAR ELLIE: Long ago, I had a onetime sexual encounter with a female colleague; we both realized it was wrong but remained friends. I was terrified to tell my wife, whom I love.

DEAR ELLIE: I'm 57, dating a young woman of 34 -- she's wise and natural, and a tough woman. We've dated for three years, lived together for 18 months, but since she moved in, our sex life has diminished greatly.

DEAR ELLIE: My wife of 13 years said she mentally divorced me three years ago, when our marriage counselor decided I was a danger to myself or someone else and placed me under observation for five days.

DEAR ELLIE: I'm 23 and have been seeing a girl for a year. She's the only person I've had sex with. I love her and am considering spending the rest of my life with her but lately I've wanted to go find another girl to have sex with, because of something in my head that tells me I'm missing out.

DEAR ELLIE: I was seeing a married woman for three years; she gave birth in April to our son.

DEAR ELLIE: My fiance of six months keeps in touch with several female friends, some of whom he'd dated: lunches, phone calls, etc. We're getting married next summer.

DEAR ELLIE: I love my stepchildren and treat them as my own; they love and respect me. Although I try to be kind, considerate, understanding and patient, their mother remains spiteful.

DEAR ELLIE: I'm getting married, but my sister-in-law doesn't get along with the general population. My brother asked me to have her in my bridal party as a show of reaching out. It took her four months to accept, but she's resentful because the wedding date was inconvenient for her.

DEAR ELLIE: Whenever we're together with my friend of 20 years, she's rude to her in-laws or short-tempered with her parents, and often gets into arguments with her husband, all in front of our family. We're embarrassed and don't know how to react. It's not a great environment to be in for ourselves, or our children. What should we do in these situations?

DEAR ELLIE: I worked nights while my hubby was home with the kids, ages 6 and 9. When I got home, there was garbage on the floor, clothes everywhere, a sinkful of dirty dishes. Every day I cleaned, but it was a mess the next morning.

DEAR ELLIE: My partner's grown children ignored him throughout our 20 years together, hurt that he moved someone into the family home. My efforts to reach out to them were rebuffed.

DEAR ELLIE: It's been five years since my ex-husband left our marriage of almost 23 years, and I'm still trying to find and fit together pieces of the puzzle as to why it didn't work. Is there a book that you'd recommend for me to read?

DEAR ELLIE: My husband and I cannot stand my best friend's husband. They've been married for more than 10 years, and he's one of these people who boasts about everything, lies and isn't interested in anything about you. We've stopped getting together as a group and have just left going out to the "girls."